Come On Over

So often when somebody wants me to do something, my first reaction is ‘No’.  I’d like to change this reactive resistance and say yes if it’s a reasonable request. Because very often I end up doing it anyway, especially when its family.

My first phone call y’day ended up with ‘why don’t you come for lunch tomorrow?’ And I said NO. Thinking it over, I thought I should have stayed open and said yes. So when the next phone call also ended up the same way, I said why not.

I think the person who invited me was as surprised as me when I said yes.

We say No to invitations for dinner/lunch because of a number of reasons

–         we may be obliged to invite them back and feel we cant take the trouble ( I’ve heard this from a few people though its has never been my reason)

–         the person inviting us may not really mean it

–         it could mean too much trouble for them

–         conversation could be really boring and stilted when its people you don’t know very well.  

Today, we did have some stilted conversation but after some time, it all got warmed up and they really did open up and felt happy to show us their house and pictures and what not. And I felt glad that I did take the trouble to visit because for most people, one of the things that gets straight to them is visiting their home. You are sending a message ‘yes you do matter to me’ and that is something we want.


2 thoughts on “Come On Over

  1. Very true.
    There are people who meet you in the lift and then invite you over. I find it very difficult to respond and invite them over too, even though most times I know they don’t really mean it. But now on prodding from my daughter, I do tell them where I live and invite them. Both of us know we may never visit their homes, but it seems polite!
    And yes, sometimes we need to make that extra effort to visit people who may not be the best company, but are warm enough to invite you over for a meal.

  2. Thanks Radha for visiting and taking the trouble to voice your thoughts.
    Yes, I know some people hand out invitations so facilely. And when you really don’t connect to them, its hard to respond the same way.
    The little politenesses of life make our days smooth. But we wonder where we draw the line between good manners and falseness. But in this case, Im sure you won’t be too thrown out if they do turn up at your home. So its okay to be polite.
    Visiting does take an effort but very often, its worth the effort.

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