The Guilt Troughs

Ive been cleaning house all morning. I  guess its therapeutic after a hecticweekend. Outer order brings inner calm, as Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project likes to say.

Shunting between Chennai and Ooty, catching up at Ooty after a week’s absence made the long weekend  very non restful. Maybe it was the feeling that I was leaving again which made me rush to catch up.

Getting  Sindhu’s  driving  licence, which was the purpose of the trip  was rather stressful. Since she lives away from home, her driving lessons have been rather skimpy. Teaching a child to drive could rate among the worlds’ most stressful activities, at least for me. We did a crash course to brush up her knowledge  of driving a 4-wheeler all of one long afternoon. The two wheeler appeared from the workshop only when she was actually at the driving test, giving her no time  to get reacquainted.  But she coped, better than I expected and better than I did .I let the  trauma of the actual driving test on wet roads, surrounded a by a host of anxious young people and the red tape get to me. It is bliss to have reached the other side. Im sure there are lots of easier ways to cope but like being on a TV show, all the smart answers come later.

Writing your ‘bucket list’ or the list of things you wish to do before you ‘kick the bucket’ or pass on has become common parlance. To counter , Amy Krouse Rosenthal has come up with the ‘F*ck It list of things you don’t wish to do any longer. See her site for the ideas of several people of things they no longer wish to do.

Top of my list would be ‘ free myself from guilt’.

-when  near and dear pile me with requests and I have  to skip a few

-when I could have done things better but didn’t because of laziness or just not wanting to make the effort

-not being available to family when they want me to but I feel like doing something else

– over giving away gifts I can’t use or don’t want to keep

– about being a little mean or short tempered with someone, its all too human and okay

I hope this list will keep growing 🙂


2 thoughts on “The Guilt Troughs

  1. I like your list.

    Wouldn’t it be great to have 20 such things a day. Just to say, it’s Ok to not clean the litter box right now, and not feel guilty.

    Or, let me send an e-mail rather than feed the rabbits.

    Or, have just a few more of those seasoned cashews from the can. It won’t spoil lunch.

    I could go throw 20 little “guilt-free” passes in two minutes, rather than wait for a whole day to use ’em up.

    But, at the end, we can just give it up as an offering to Whom or Whatever we perceive as the Force Far Greater than ourselves in the hopes — and joy — that we’ll most likely be given another day to do all of the things our guilty-verdict-mind thinks we should be doing.


    michael j

  2. So beautifully put Michael.

    And I like your real list too. You remind me that we make these little choices all the time. In all that we do. We can always choose not to ‘do’ or defer it.

    And you remind me too that we can make the Force the centre of our lives and live each minute in joy, and as you say, an offering.

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